Need sex. Gaining weight.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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