Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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