rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i think my cat just said my name.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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