I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
