just tell him i said nine months
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
