That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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