he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
