But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
