i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
