haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my shit smells like andre
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize