That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
