tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So squirting runs in the family.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
