Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
