I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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