well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
