it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
