I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
