i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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