How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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