summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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