You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
