I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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