needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
