I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
