Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
