look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
