I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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