cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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