i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
