took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
