I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
