You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
