Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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