he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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