Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
