I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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