dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
