all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
