last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We have started to decorate penises.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize