i think my tv is drunk
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
