Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize