similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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