what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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