he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
