Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
