I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
