ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
