Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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