apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She bit a glass in half.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
