my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
