Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she woke up with a sticky ear
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
