What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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