well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
