Duck Duck Cougar?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
