My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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