why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
