I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
