Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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