I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
