I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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