3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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