on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
should my penis look like a turkey
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
