sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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