Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
