i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
